Christendom still in turmoil after Chick-Fil-A betrayal

Church Life

Last month Chick-Fil-A’s first UK branch was closed down due to the brave work of LGBT activists who had heard that Chick-Fil-A “marinate their chicken in bigotry, season the fries with homophobia and close on Sundays to beat their least productive staff members”. 

However, support from the Christian community for Chick-Fil-A’s heroic stance despite the opposition quickly turned to dismay when they heard this month that Chick-Fil-A will no longer include The Salvation Army and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes amongst their charitable giving, as they only fund organisations that “support their values”.

CEO Dan Cathy said it was “pure coincidence” that those charities dropped happened to be the only ones that support a Biblical definition of marriage and were labelled as hate groups by the LGBT lobby.

However, Christians don’t believe in coincidence and see something else at work here.

For example, Tim (whose surname we weren’t interest in) stated, “We thought that Chick-Fil-A were the fulfilment of Jesus gathering the chicks to himself (Lk 13:34) and now I see that all this time they were a Judas betraying our Lord so they could sell 30 chicken nuggets!”

Pastor Bob stated, “Like many, the chicken was like manna to us and we used to go out and gather our daily bread (and twice as much on Saturdays so we could rest on the Sabbath).  But now we see it was the devil tempting us like he did to Jesus in the wilderness (Lk 4:3), to turn our money into chicken deliciousness (which was clearly more tempting than rocks into bread).”

The SBC issued a strongly worded statement condemning Chick-Fil-A for “the abuse of the Lord’s chicken” and ordering an immediate boycott.

The editor invites the readers to contribute their reports of the turmoil as he lost his bit of paper with the rest of this article on it… 

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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