Messiah accidentally visits wrong planet!

Church Life

Recently declassified documents show that when Father God commissioned his one and only Son to become a Messiah, he was meant to go to exoplanet Gliese 163 c, not planet earth.

Many scholars have long suspected that Jesus traveled to the wrong celestial rock, as he never quite seemed to fit in here, but could not prove it until now.

“In the Gospel of John Jesus repeatedly explains to his disciples how he was sent by his Father to be the light and life of the world,” biblical scholar Bart Erdmon explains. “But something always felt askew. His whole idea that we should love our enemies made no sense.”

It is not clear from the documents exactly how the mix up occurred. The Godhead has long been interested in saving Gliese 163 c, which orbits a dwarf star approximately 49 light-years from the Sun in the constellation Dorado. It has a higher population than earth, and its inhabitants, though of superior intelligence, are terribly depraved.

“It would be an easy mistake to make,” Erdmon says. “Earth and Gliese have similar GPS coordinates, and it’s possible Jesus simply punched the wrong address into his phone.”

It is also unclear if Jesus’ crucifixion for the salvation of homo sapiens remains valid. There are no precedent cases for non-commissioned Messiahships.

Meanwhile, the inhabitants of Gliese 163 c remain lost in their sin. “When you create a universe with one billion trillion stars, and only have one Christ, it creates some soteriological challenges,” Erdmon says.

Many of Jesus’ disciples today believe he will make a second trip to planet earth soon, but most scholars think that is unlikely, given that the first mission was a mistake and there are over 1.3 million planets still awaiting their first Divine Incarnation.

Reporter: R H Tatum author of reverently irreverent The Smile Bible comedy commentary.

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