Easter service: Overnight queues begin for those who want seats

Queues (lines for American readers) have already begun at First Covenant Community church ahead of its Easter service.

“We always anticipate the service being packed out,” says Pastor Scott, “why people don’t spread out their two visits a year is beyond me.  It would just make life so much easier for the regulars.”

Barry, a 74 year old started queuing 2 days ago, “I’ve been sitting in the same seat for the past 56 years. I’m not about to let someone wander in off the street and help themselves to it.”

“Backrow” Bob added, “And they always fill up from the back – if I don’t get in early I might have to sit further from the exit or even on the front row.  No way I’ll be able to sleep there.”

Jim, a young and hip worshipper at the church said, “I usually rock up about 10 minutes after the service begins, but last Easter all – and I mean all – the coffee and doughnuts had gone by then.  I ain’t missing these for nobody.”

The need for regulars to queue has made some question whether they should actually let visitors in at all.

“I mean Jesus said ‘Go into the world and preach the Gospel’ not ‘Come and visit our church’,” said Lorna a recent Bible college grad, “We need to get back to the original Easter Sunday where everyone was hiding in their own houses – not piling down to their local synagogue!”

Pastor Scott concluded, “I think if we were to hold more Christmas and Easter services throughout the year it might avoid these crushes.  I think it’ll be a win-win for the visitors and the regulars.”

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible