Halle Berry to play baby Princess Ariel in Disney’s The Little Mermaid


On Wednesday it was announced that Halle Berry will play Princess Ariel in Disney’s live action version of The Little Mermaid.

However, the world was more excited to hear that Halle, aged 52, will not play the young princess Ariel (who was aged about 16) but only the scenes where she is a baby.

Betty Wont a fierce critic of the film industry’s practises said, “For too long Hollywood has been ageist – passing over older actors in favour of the young and beautiful. Seeing Halle play a baby is a triumph for talented older actors who wouldn’t normally be considered for these roles.”

Halle Berry has said that she will play the baby princess Ariel in the Little Mermaid without the use of CGI.

A spokesperson for Halle stated, “Halle has committed herself to the required plastic surgery to make her skin appear younger. She is also undergoing strict dieting to get her weight down to 8 pounds and has been using techniques such as foot binding and sleeping in smaller and smaller boxes at night to force her body into the required size. This is a tribute to her dedication to this role.”

Certainly, we at the Cee are impressed by her approach which makes Christian Bale’s 63 pound weight loss to play the role of Trevor Reznik in the Machinist a walk in the park.

However, not everyone is happy.

“With Hollywood now using older actors, what hope is there for young actors getting roles? Halle Bailey, the 19 year old R&B singer, would have been a much better fit for the role,” said someone whose name we couldn’t remember.

This is the kind of complaint that said actors should only play characters of the same age, race, gender, ability, etc as they possess in real life and caused the backlash against Scarlett Johansson.

However, we at the Cee are now very confused as to exactly which is the more woke response and hope that you, the reader, can help us out.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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