Independence Day: America closes borders to English


INDEPENDENCE DAY 2018: President Trump celebrated the 242nd independence day this 4th July by closing America’s borders to people and goods from England.

“For too long Americans have pretended that this great nation is independent of England when we still visit them on vacation and when we’re still buying stuff from them and selling to them.  Independent means independent!”

Queen Elizabeth II of England issued a formal statement this morning declaring the action “about time too.”

With the ban encompassing British actors, Marvel pre-empted Trump’s statement by killing off Loki, Heimdall, Dr Strange, Vision and Spiderman in their last movie Infinity War and axing the Agent Carter TV series.

Whilst there has been outcry from the American public who find the English accent “so cute”, most British people are looking forward to a TV schedule without American sitcoms.


Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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