Nations newly home schooled kids introduced to math and science


The nation’s newly home schooled children are reportedly confused and dazzled by their first introduction to concepts such as math and science after being forced out of public schools by the coronavirus scare.

Mary Klein said her daughter, Hope, had no idea how to react after being told school would be happening at home for the foreseeable future.

“When I told her I was going to be her teacher for a while, she immediately began referring to me as ‘Dear Leader’ and started calling her siblings ‘comrades,'” she said.

Mary also reported that her eldest son, Joel, sat on top of the table and demanded to be fed peanuts because he identifies as a non-binary elephant while at school. “I had no idea this was actually happening.”

Both students were completely awestruck when Mary showed them how to complete a subtraction problem. “It took them 45 minutes and 7 sheets of paper each to solve it using something they kept calling ‘common core’. They were absolutely shocked when I showed them a way to solve the problem in 0.5 seconds using a technique I call ‘math,'” she said.

When asked if she would consider home schooling her kids permanently once public schools opened back up, Mary was unsure, but did state that she was leaning towards it after Hope starting talking about “Comrade Che” and “Uncle Stalin” when she mentioned doing a history lesson.

Reporter: Ibstyln

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