NY Reproductive Health Act allows unborn to join gangs


Since New York legalised crime to plug their deficit they have had time to concentrate on ensuring their state becomes more inclusive.

On Tuesday, Gov. Andrew Cuomo signed the Reproductive Health Act into law which allows the unborn “full and equal access to gang membership”.

Senate Majority Leader Andrea Stewart-Cousins said, “Since the womb has become one of the most dangerous places on earth to live it’s only right and fair that they can join a gang for their own protection.”

Gangs are already lining up to recruit the unborn as the Reproductive Health Act redefines “person” as “a human being who has been born and is alive” and thus the unborn can’t be prosecuted for any crime they commit. 

In addition, the law allows licensed “health-care practitioners” to perform abortions. 

Andrea Miller, president of the National Institute for Reproductive Health, said “We’re planning on enlisting the gangs for the new late term abortions as it’s hard for us to pretend that they’re just a bunch of cells when they’re viable outside the womb.”

Gang leader Marc Devere spat, “Those wimps squeal at the thought of killing fully formed babies but we ain’t got no scruples.  We’ll offer each baby the chance to join us or get one in the head which is a far better offer than those half-baked abortions at dem health centres.”

Gov. Andrew Cuomo believes that this is a win-win for New York, “We don’t have to get our hands dirty and the gangs make a tidy sum out of killing with no fear of prosecution.” 

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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