Statue of Jesus beheaded for being a white supremacist

Church Life

A statue of Jesus Christ was recently decapitated in Miami, just outside of Good Shepherd Catholic Church.

Antifa has taken credit for the act of vandalism, which they are calling a mostly peaceful protest in response to Jesus being a white supremacist.

We contacted Antifa via Zoom (because no other form of teleconferencing software exists) and interviewed them. The members of Antifa still insisted on wearing their masks, probably to ensure they were protected from internet viruses.

“Yes, we lobbed his head off,” said the leading Antifa member, “as Jesus was a white man who claimed to be God.  You can’t get like more supremacist than that!”

Our reporter tried to point out that Jesus was an olive-skinned Jew but was cut off by the leader who retorted, “How come all those statues are white then? And them paintings of him? Educate yourself!”

Several other members of the ANTIFA chapter chimed in with “Yeah!” before the leader continued:

“Jesus said and did nothing about racism. Where does the Bible say that black lives matter? Show me one verse where it says that!”

More “yeahs” were given.

“And he did nothing for homeless people,” said a seemingly emboldened antifa member, “he was never homeless and only helped the poor that one time, with the boy and the fishes. He didn’t stand up to them Romans nor free any slaves.  Jesus was not woke!”

The group then all joined in and chanted “not so woke!” over and over again for a few minutes, not letting us get a word in.

Sadly, the Zoom call was abruptly cut short after their mom walked into the room and wanted to know what all the shouting was about.

Reporter: The lonely rogue

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