Fall in heart donors blamed on Christmas song


Hospitals are again reporting another fall in the number of heart donors over this Christmas season.

Jed Thomas, researcher at the Institute of Research, who first pointed out that all stories on satirical websites are false, has placed the blame firmly on the hit song “Last Christmas” first released in 1984 by the band Wham!

“It is clear that the song ‘Last Christmas’, which is played non-stop for three months of the year, has affected the subconscious of those who are usually only too happy to share their organs.  The feeling that their heart will just be given away to someone who is not special naturally makes them recoil at this time of year.”

Others just point to the fact that the Christmas period makes it less likely that families notice deaths, thinking Uncle Bob is just having a long post-Christmas lunch nap.  By the time they realise he’s dead, it’s too late for the organs to be used in transplants. 

Though some doctor’s claim that the pickling caused by increased drinking can help preservation of the organs beyond what is usual.

Despite the differences, some politicians are putting forward a bill to ban playing “Last Christmas” just in case it is linked to the decline in heart donors.  Though opponents claim that this is actually a cover up for their inability to cope with listening to this song for yet another year.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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