Mormons land on the moon!
A group of Mormon astronauts has recently landed on both the light and dark sides of the moon. Using a hand-made craft and rocket fuel from Kolob, a group of “space pilgrims” successfully completed their mission just this morning.
The all-male crew launched promptly at 04:00 hours on Thursday and made it back on 04:00 Sunday, just in time for Sunday’s services! Each member of the crew disembarked while fully clad in their white shirts and black ties which protected them from the cold vacuum of space.
“Visiting the moon was an exhilarating trip!” said brother Michael “Mike” Smith, “Why, it was almost as exhilarating as today’s service will be!”
While in space the crew dined on freeze dried versions of just about anything you can think of, with the exception of coffee, tea, and alcohol, of course!
During the voyage, a run-in with hostile aliens occurred. However, the travelers were able to calm things down by converting every single alien to Mormonism.
“That’s why we carry ‘the book of Mormon!” said brother Clarence Osmond, “We also plan on following Solomon’s example by adding the female aliens to our wives to create peace between our peoples.”
In spite of this huge accomplishment of civilian space travel, sadly for us the moon dust, rocks, photographs and video were all given back to the angel they met during their time on the moon.
The lack of evidence has caused some to doubt the Mormon church’s claims of having sent their people to the moon and the conversion of the aliens they met there.
“Of course we went to the moon! But when the angel asked for all the artefacts back then who were we to refuse them? The evidence is far safer being looked after by an angel than kept with us! That’s part of why Joseph Smith’s account of events is far more believable than if we actually had the golden plates and rose-tinted spectacles!” said Elder Grant Jones.
Well, we at the Cee are convinced by their arguments and who are we to doubt their word?
Reporter: The lonely rogue