New Holiday Started to Garner More Diversity in December
As everyone knows, December is chocked full of holidays representing various religious groups and celebrations. Whether you are like us here as the Salty Cee who celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ, or if you’re like our friends over at another news source who celebrate Winter Solstice, we want to be the first to inform you about a new holiday in December.
The National Center for Diversity and Inclusion now wants to be included in the lineup of holidays with a special day of celebration: “Whatever Day” will not be celebrated on a particular day in December, but on any day you choose.
So, what will the hallmark associations be with this holiday?
Well, anything you want! Our chief correspondent suggested that we buy him gifts; Crass Christian asked for more coffee; Furious Christian simply replied to the news with “Bah Humbug”; and several other staff members opted to send custom greeting cards that were labeled “blank inside” from the dollar store.
So, how will this new holiday affect your life? How will it change your budget for December?
We are anxious to hear your feedback, and possibly any memories you may have from celebrating a day of nothing in years past.
Some have even suggested calling it “Seinfeld Day” since it’s a day about nothing, but when we questioned the writers, they reminded us of Festivus.
We hope the addition of this holiday to the likes of Christmas, Kwanzaa, (C)Hanukkah, Boxing Day, and Ōmisoka, will show that there is a growing diversity of December celebrations.
In fact, just a few more and we would have filled every day of the month with its own holiday! Merry whatever!
Reporter: Angry Nursery Worker
Where even the worst satire floats 
