10 Ways to stop talking to that Christian guy you met on Bumble

Church Life

It’s a problem as old as arranged marriage – how do women get rid of that keen guy that they’re just not interested in?

With more Christians meeting through online dating apps (except the Amish), ranging from the ultra-orthodox KJV loving IFBonly.com to Christian Mingle to secular dating such as Bumble, ladies find men miss the subtle cues.

And of course, being a Christian lady makes them unable to use rude words to get the message across loud and clear.

Well, fear not! Because we at the Cee have compiled this handy list to help deter that rather over keen man:

  1. Say you’re looking for more of a ‘Christian Mingle’ Man
  2. Tell him he’s more heavily yoked than you are
  3. Go on a Mission Trip without telling him
  4. Begin a deep theological debate and argue whichever side he doesn’t
  5. Tell him thou doth not date those that which read KJV
  6. Start being really into Halloween
  7. Tell him he’d make a great Catholic priest
  8. Marry a different guy at your Church
  9. Fake your death
  10. Send him this article

Should none of these work, then send an email to the editor and he’ll send round some burly church ushers who’ll be happy to make him sit in the right pew.

Reporter: Miles Mortali

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