Baptists tricked into raising their hands in church!

Church Life

It could have happened to anyone, but unfortunately it happened to Baptist Pastor Dan.

“I haven’t always been a Baptist so I occasionally miss things, I just didn’t anticipate it being quite this big a thing…”

Whilst Dan was aware that Baptists love their potlucks and model their worship on the mannequin challenge, he hadn’t quite realised their disdain for Pentecostals and how it would come back to bite them.

“I was trying to create some kind of interaction during the sermon as sometimes it’s hard telling if some of the older members are listening or have actually died.  So I asked for a show of hands from those who thought Pentecostals were over emotional.”

It was then that every hand shot up in the air, even those who had died during the notices came back to vote.

Ben, a member of the congregation, explained, “Normally I’m very careful and never interact at all, just in case I accidentally bring myself to the attention of those who are looking to fill the nursery rota or even worse…be seen as an overly emotional Christian.  But when the Pastor asked this question it just set something off insider of me and my hand shot up.”

It was only then that the congregation realised how they had been tricked into becoming overly emotional and inside their own church.

“Suddenly people were looking around in horror at what had happened,” sighed Dan, “then all their hands immediately went down and the temperature of the church dropped by 2 degrees..I realise now that I should have asked them to put their hands down if they thought Pentecostals were too emotional…”

The church has requested to remain anonymous to prevent their expulsion from the SBC.  “If word got out about our overly emotional response then we’d never live this down and we’d end up attracting the wrong sort of people,” said one worried Deacon.

For the first time in the churches history, the Deacons held an emergency meeting before lunch, and unanimously voted that Pastor Dan should step down to explore a recent calling from “the Lord” to work in Tristan da Cunha, a remote group of islands in the South Pacific. 

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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