Bass player shocks congregation with solo

Church Life

What started as a normal time of worship at All-About-Dat-Grace Church soon plunged into chaos after the bass player, Nameless Long-hair, broke into a 5 minute solo.

It has long been suspected that either all bass players are the same person or that they all are clones of the original, as yet unnamed, bass player.

However, given that most congregations don’t even notice that there actually is a bass player in the worship band let alone that there is any similarity to other unnoticed bass players meant that this morning came as a shock to the congregation.

“At first I was lost in worship™,” explained Jim, “then I thought, what instrument is playing?  It didn’t sound like the keyboard and was too deep for the guitar – so I opened my eyes and there was this band member I’ve never seen before playing some kind of guitar only with less strings.”

Haley was similarly confused, “I thought ‘has God created a new band member just for this moment of lit worship?’  Was one of those lyre things that David used?”

In fact, so great was the confusion that the congregation mostly stopped singing and started staring instead.  Our reporter was unable to determine if this was a Holy Stare™ or just a bewildered stare.  But concluded that the confusion was similar to how Baptists must feel when the third member of the Trinity does something visible.

Despite the bass player being in the worship-zone™, the awkwardness of the congregation became so tangible that he looked out at a sea of faces staring at him.

The shock of being noticed was too much and he swiftly slunk back into the shadows as is right and proper before the Lord. 

Local psychotherapist Peter Out stated that the trauma will soon pass and that everyone will go back to forgetting that he exists in due course.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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