Church’s Passion for God, Grammar and Punctuation Transforms Local Community

Church Life

Godliness is next to cleanliness, as our grandmas used to say, despite the dictionary having these words pages apart. But we loved them.

The Cee recently heard about a church who takes grandmas very seriously…



However, *ahem*, the Cee also recently heard of another church who has a passion for grammar and punctuation. So we sent one of our interns to interview their Pastor.

“Here at the Church-of-As-You-Like-It we endeavour to lead our members to higher standards,” said Pastor Jones.

“Matthew 12:36 tells us we’ll give an account for careless words and that includes the holy two, grammar and punctuation. Like my Mother used say, ‘The son’s of perdition and poor punctuation have something in common.'”

While our repoter paused to ponder this pearl of wisdom, Pastor Jones continued:

“After all a dam is not a damn. You get those two words mixed up and you might be guilty of a careless word violation and years of unintentional cursing. One of our members learned this the hard way. He’s been telling people for years that he worked at the Grand Coulee Damn. Our church leadership talked with him and had to decide between Language Arts instruction and excommunication.”

Our reporter challenged the pastor, “Jesus said the problem is with the heart. You know, clean the inside of the cup first…,”

“We’re all over that cup commandment,” said Pastor Jones, “We wash our coffee cups twice. Once by hand and once in the dishwasher.”

Our reporter attempted to correct his misunderstanding but his excitement left no room for interruption.

“Our coffee ministry is a good example of our church in action.”

“Every Monday we are out in the community giving out free coffee along with a tract for people to request additional information. Last week a young man received Christ AND learned how to identify a Dangling Modifier.”

Sadly, our reporter’s slack jaw betrayed his lack of understanding of this finer point of grammar and the interview was cut short in disgust.

But as Paul said, “But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.”

The Church-Of-As-You-Like-It where God and sinners are reconciled and semicolons are never abused.

Reporters: Tom & Peg

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