UK rift in space-time continuum closes



Scientists report that a rift in the space-time continuum that was affecting the UK over the last month has now closed.

The exact effects of this phenomena have not been fully determined but reports indicate that it was likely to have caused interference with local weather patterns and sports ability.

One local resident commented, “It was like living in a different country, the weather was always sunny and England reached the semi-finals of the world cup.  Anyone would think that we had become Brazil!”

Another disgusted resident stated, “I knew something was up when people started acting in a shameful manner by putting away their umbrellas and donning shorts instead!”

Doctors have reported a surge in people suffering from nausea.  This is thought to be correlated by the increased prevalence of pale white British legs being seen in public.

The first sign of the closure of the rift was when England crashed out of the world cup.  This was closely followed by a poor performance by British players at Wimbledon and a torrential downpour.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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