Pastor gives real reason for Europe heatwave 2019

Church Life

The Europe heatwave 2019 and wildfires continue to wreak havoc across Europe, from France to Italy. Multiple deaths have been reported. First responders have reported a 35% increase in emergencies. The temperatures across the continent will reach as high as 43.9 degrees Celsius (Way too hot in Fahrenheit).

A Southern Baptist Pastor recently claimed to know the reason for the heatwave and wildfires. We immediately flew our reporter via Concorde to Gulfshores, Alabama for an explanation.

“The reason for the oppressive weather is obvious to a discerning Christian,” said lead Pastor Max Wacky, “some overly educated fools would say it’s caused by climate change or summertime weather patterns, but the fact is it’s dem unrepentant hearts!”

The preacher then shouted and slammed both fists on his pulpit.

This bold statement was made to his congregation of twenty-five people.

The preacher continued, “This is God’s warning. I mean, if you think it’s hot here then you ain’t seen nothing yet compared to the fires of Hell!”

Apparently, the Europe heatwave 2019 will continue, along with other “natural” disasters until the whole of Europe repents of its wicked ways, including their use of Centigrade as opposed to the Lord’s chosen unit: Fahrenheit.

John Hagee declined to comment, as he was busy promoting his Blood Moon home decorating book.

Reporter: The lonely rogue

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