Shock as Christian considers dating outside their denomination!
Kissimmee, FL- A local church is reeling after one of its members committed a strange, deviant act today.
This Christian actually considered dating someone of another denomination!
We were shocked as it’s even worse than enjoying greeting time.
“I don’t know why this is such a big deal,” said the unorthodox Christian, Biff Shift, “I go to a Nazarene Church and she goes to an Assembly of God church. But c’mon, we’re both Christians and she even plays World of Warcraft!”
Biff then rambled on about glorifying God while watching two Tauren Druids decimate their enemies. And something about a “Feast of Winter’s Veil.” Our reporter could only smile and nod.
The pastoral staff at Biff’s Church, Tenth Nazarene Church of Kissimmee, refused to comment on the situation due to the stress and controversy the event has caused.
Biff has however, jeopardized his holy church position of parking lot attendant.
Reports have come in that the abnormal couple planned to meet at a coffee shop but did not after no place of business would service them.
“I cannot believe it either! It’s not right,” said Biff’s father, Skip Shift, “This is not how my wife and I raised our son! The relationship cannot happen, I mean, does the Bible not say to avoid being unequally yoked?!”
We are unsure as to what cooking eggs has to do with dating but, we promise to look into this soon.
“I will not allow this to happen either. I just won’t,” said Biff’s mother, Mrs. Eileen Z. Shift, “How can we possibly let our son fraternize with the enemy, I mean our fellow lesser believers in Christ? Where will this end? I’ll tell you where – Church unity that’s where. Then what’s the point of different denominations, eh?”
Reporter: The lonely rogue