Shock as Salty Cee writer messes up Valentine’s day

OXFORD, ENGLAND: News has reached us that one of the Salty Cee writers has messed up Valentine’s day for Christian couples around the world with his latest book.

John Spencer aka Not the Bible has written a parody of the #1 New York Bestseller “The Love Dare” with the not so subtle title of “Not the Love Dare”.

Apparently, he believes promoting 40 “Biblical” ways to annoy your spouse is just what is needed in marriages.  However, his liberal use of verses to support such behaviour are so out of context that they make Rob Bell look like an evangelical. 

For example:

“A day is like a 1,000 years to a man who has been asked to take out the trash”
(2 Pet 3:8 sort of)

or

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from nor where it is going. So it is with every woman that is asked where she would like to eat.”
(Jn 3:8 sort of)

This is clearly irresponsible behaviour and we’d like to fire him, except he pays the website bills.  So let’s just say we’re very cross indeed and will make him buy us all some Chick-Fil-A nuggets.

Good job we didn’t include a link to this book or some people might accidentally click on it just to see what all the fuss is about.

Though we know that our readers are far too discerning to ever click on a link to a book that could jeopardise their marriages no matter how funny it is supposed to be.

Let’s just hope that our warning about this book and any links to it may save your Valentine’s Day from being ruined too.

 Reporter: Not me, I mean not John Spencer aka Not the Bible