World unmoved as the Salty Cee releases their first satirical book

Church Life

Yesterday, the Salty Cee released their first book, imaginatively named “The Best of the Salty Cee Vol. 1”. It’s a compilation of 40 of their best loved articles such as:

  • Move of God turns out to be indigestion
  • Joel Osteen’s Freshly Polished Teeth Glow Mistaken for Shekinah Glory
  • K-Love Extends Playlist Rotation to Ten Songs!
  • New Church Encourages Vaping to Mimic Glory Cloud
  • St Paul’s gardening accident leads to thorn in the flesh
  • Seventh Day Adventist Chick-Fil-A Franchise: Sunday Hours Offered

Together with extras such as predestine-o-scopes (horoscopes for Calvinists), biblical personal ads, gossip prayer requests, puzzles and much less.

OK, we admit we struggled to find that many funny articles – but we found that if we repeated them we could get to 40 just fine. Which means we’ll easily be able to get to volume 2.5 before we run out of articles.

However, the world carried on as if nothing had happened.

John Spencer, editor of the Cee, said, “I thought at least one person might, you know, have noticed but there it sat on Amazon unloved. It’s like…no-one cares….”

John dissolved into a fresh bout of tears before continuing.

“I mean, not even my mum purchased a copy!”

In an exclusive interview with the Cee, John’s mum stated, “Look, John’s book writing and ‘comedy’ started with his midlife crisis. I mean I purchased his first book, but this is now his tenth. I think it’s long past time that he just faced the fact that he’s not funny, moved on and accepted that his dull office job is all that he’s suited to.”

We at the Cee are trying to come up with an excuse as to why John’s mum didn’t buy a copy but are secretly hoping that one of you kind readers might hop over to Amazon, buy a copy and then we can shield John from the painful truth…

Oh pretty please.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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