CDC: MySpace is safest social media site during coronavirus pandemic.


With the current focus on ending the Coronavirus lockdown safely, the CDC has praised MySpace as the safest social media site for people to congregate.

“One of our recommendations is meeting in groups of no more than ten people and also standing at least six feet apart from others.  After a detailed analysis of the various social media sites, we found that MySpace was the only one to meet these recommendations,” said a spokesperson for the CDC.

Jim, an avowed introvert and avid MySpace user said, “Sometimes I can go for days without meeting anyone – so I ain’t gonna catch no virus from anybody.”

This is welcome news for a social media site who has been beset by problems, most recently losing 50 million songs behind the sofa after an update to bring it into the 20th Century.

Following the announcement by the CDC, shares in MySpace jumped by 100% bringing its share price up to two cents.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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