Bernie Sanders cuts head on capitalism


Bernie Sanders cut his head on the corner of a capitalist glass shower door and received 7 stitches on Friday.

The 2020 candidate has been given a clean bill of health and has bounced back in fighting form:

“These kind of accidents would never happen if the government provided everyone with shower doors, rather than having greedy companies exploit people by selling shower doors that can cause these injuries.”

When asked how the government would fund these shower doors, Bernie Sanders claimed a headache from his injury and was unable to comment further.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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