GDPR compliance: God deletes all records of sin


The GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) in the EU requires that anyone who processes data to:

  • inform subjects of the specific purpose for which their data is used
  • obtain consent from those subjects
  • inform them of their right to withdraw consent at any time

 Being omnipresent and omniscient means that God naturally collects data from everyone everywhere, including things such as the number of hairs on people’s heads. But despite making clear that He will judge the living and the dead – many people seem to be unaware of this.

 Attempts by Christians to increase awareness that “God is watching” have not only been rebuffed but, in many cases, outlawed as bigoted hate speech.

 However, many of those who have become aware have made use of the provisions of the GDPR to request that God delete all records of their sins, particularly ‘Sensitive Personal Data’ that they wouldn’t want their wives or co-workers to know about.

 For Christians, GDPR has made little difference as God “will remember their sins no more” (Jer 31:34).

 However, for those who choose to reject Jesus this law has created a bit of a dilemma for God. How can He rightly condemn people and send them to hell when there is no record of their wrongs.

 Satan has also expressed displeasure at the ruling, but a spokesperson for Rob Bell was ecstatic, “This law is a victory for progressive Christians everywhere and celebrates the God of love whom we have created in our image.”

 Reporter: John Spencer (aka Not the Bible)

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