Baltimore vermin accuse Trump of being ratist
The rats in Baltimore and other vermin are reeling in shock after President Trump took aim at them in a recent tweet:
....As proven last week during a Congressional tour, the Border is clean, efficient & well run, just very crowded. Cumming District is a disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess. If he spent more time in Baltimore, maybe he could help clean up this very dangerous & filthy place— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 27, 2019
“We are shocked at President Trump’s ratist attitude,” said a spokesrat, “It’s a sad fact that people like him continue to associate us with filth and disease when actually we’re clean animals that have fallen on hard times. Even the Salty Cee has resorted to creating badly photoshopped images of us on a Baltimore background!”
Our reporter quickly changed the subject and asked the spokesrat his opinion of Rep. Elijah Cumming.
“Elijah Cumming has been a firm supporter of rat immigration over the last twenty years. He has welcomed us into his district with open arms and has made sure that we are properly homed and well fed. Every day new buildings are being left empty for us to move into and leave food for us on the sidewalks.”
However, Trump’s tweets on Baltimore’s rats have encouraged more ratists to express their hatred more openly.
“After his tweets we had someone from the city putting flyer’s through the doors to encourage residents to stop feeding us. Never mind the border, this blatant ratism means that we’ll end up drinking toilet water and eating pretty much anything else we find in the sewers as the sidewalk salad bars close…”
Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible