Girl Scouts create new “cowardice” merit badge

Sylvia Acevedo, President of the Girls Scouts of America, announced the issuance of a new merit badge for “Cowardice” to memorialize the removal of the tweet honoring Justice Amy Coney Barrett and the other four female justices of the U.S. Supreme Court because it was “political”.

They followed up the removal of this tweet with two further tweets to explain why:

“Earlier today, we shared a post highlighting the five women who have been appointed to the Supreme Court. It was quickly viewed as a political and partisan statement which was not our intent and we have removed the post.”

“Girl Scouts of the USA is a nonpolitical, nonpartisan organization. We are neither red nor blue, but Girl Scout YELLOW. We are here to teach girls to submit to the mob.”

The new badge will feature a chicken and represent “the effort required by our girls to give up in the face of trouble.”

Acevedo believes that cowardice has a place in American life. She pointed out that if the Girl Scouts had defended the Alamo, they would have surrendered and no one would have been killed; and, if they had been at the Battle of the Bulge, there would have been no bulge because unlike the surrounded American soldiers, the Girl Scouts would have again surrendered.

Furthermore, if Nathan Hale had been a Girl Scout, he wouldn’t have had to regret having only one life to lose for his country because he wouldn’t have been spying for General Washington in the first place.

Acevedo also announced that anyone who buys five boxes of cookies would receive a yellow sash to wear and stand in solidarity with whatever we’re told to do.

Reporter: Chuck Rivetto