Olivia Newton-John back from dead to squash life rumours


Olivia Newton-John told fans that “rumours of my life have been greatly exaggerated”.

The Grease actress posted a video online from beyond the grave after rumours circulated that her body had been dug up and restored to health after a treatment for eternal life had been found.

Olivia Newton-John felt it necessary to post a video in her zombie state the quash the tabloid reports that she was being brought back from the dead to see her daughter get married.

The singer said “As you can see, I’m decomposing nicely and I want to wish all of you still living the happiest, healthiest 2019 that’s possible.” 

The singer declined to comment on the afterlife and instead quoted Luke 16:31, If you don’t listen to Moses and the Prophets, then you’re not going to be convinced even if I told you.”

The Salty Cee reached out to Richard Dawkins who concurred, “Unless we have scientific proof that the person speaking was Olivia, that she was actually dead and that her testimony can be verified in independent studies carried out by atheists then it would be irrational to believe anything she said.”

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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