Panic buying forces people to eat gluten free food


Coronavirus has led to panic buying as families face the possibility of 14 days of self-isolation or even a complete lockdown of towns.

This has led to shortages in toilet rolls, pasta and canned goods often leaving only gluten free “food” in the store. 

It has been these desperate times that have finally caused non-gluten intolerant people to purchase such items in the belief that they are edible.

“Urgh! It’s like eating cardboard!” exclaimed one unsuspecting customer after cooking the gluten free pasta at home.

“Quick! Get me some water – this bread is dry as a bone!” choked another customer.

“No wonder vegan food has taken off!” sighed yet another.

Such customers feel betrayed by companies who included words such as “bread”, “pasta” and “food” on the labels of the gluten free products.  This has led to the beginnings of a class action lawsuit for misleading advertising.

However, one silver lining has come out of this ordeal.  Contributions towards research of gluten intolerance have soared seven fold.

“I don’t know how they can eat this stuff day after day – this is far worse than any coronavirus,” stated one sympathetic donor.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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