YouTube Down signals start of the Apocalypse, oh wait it’s back up again…
Europe woke up this morning to discover they had missed the almost apocalypse with YouTube down for the longest 90 minutes since the last Pure Flix movie.
At first, people thought it was a glitch and reloaded the page or restarted their internet but after 15 minutes they faced their worst fears: experiencing a pre-2005 world:
DIY projects were put on hold once how-to videos became unavailable, and computer gamers were unable to progress without the walkthrough videos.
Users spilled on to Twitter to vent and discovered they were not alone (in venting on Twitter about anything as well as well as experiencing YouTube problems). Others who had been previously unaware clicked on the #YouTubedown and then flocked to YouTube to experience the frustration too and became equally horrified.
With YouTube not responding to the crisis, 911 call centres were overun with with people asking for help and threatening suicide as they saw their income fall from their monetarised videos.
The police took to Twitter to try and reduce the strain on call centres:
In the end President Trump issued a presidential alert text urging people to remain calm. However, as people took to the streets martial law had to be declared.
Millenials who completely missed the blood moons due to looking down at their phones finally realised how precarious their life was and Google experienced a spike in searches for “What is life all about?”, “Is there a God?” and “Video streaming websites”.
Registrations for addiction clinics also experienced an uptick after 75 mins of YouTube down, as did confessions of faith.
Blockbusters saw their moment for former glory and ironically announced plans to re-open 300 stores nationwide just as YouTube came back online.
Thanos released a statement denying responsibility and YouTube has declined to comment on what caused the outage but some word of faith ministers have said this “act of God” was in response to their prayers and signals the wave of conversions that will cover America when revival comes.
However, with YouTube up again it appears that the emotional responses have evaporated in a…oooo look at that, another cat video…
Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible