Babylon Bee sees first conversion!

Church Life

The Babylon Bee saw it’s first conversion yesterday as Democrat follower Linda Smith made a decision to follow Trump.

Founder Adam Ford celebrated saying, “After nearly 5 years, I’m delighted to hear that the Kingdom is advancing through the ministry I started.”

Originally, the “Christian” satirical news site used to satirise both political parties, including articles where they *gasp* mocked Trump, but that all changed after new owner Seth Dillon received an angelic vision.

“The angel warned me saying that if we were to criticise Trump or the Republicans then we would lose our premium subscribers‘ donations.”

This led the CEO to repent of his wicked ways:

“I realised that the Democrat party were like the prophets of Baal, and God had given the spirit of Elijah to the Babylon Bee to mock and expose them as frauds so that the people would be set free from their lies.”

Despite their evangelical zeal in deriding Democrats, they very nearly gave up in the early days.

Editor-in-Chief, Kyle Mann, explained, “After years of sowing into this vision and seeing no fruit, we began to question whether we had misheard God and were simply mocking liberals in our own strength. But with Linda’s recent conversion we know that we heard true.”

Linda chimed in, “I mean I knew these guys claimed to be Christians and were supposed to be into truth and all that, but too often my experience of Christians was that they were all about condemnation of Democrats rather than about the freedom they had found in voting Republican. Seeing them ignore the many faults of their political party and taking cheap shots at the opposition really made me realise that they had my interests at heart rather than just being partisan.”

Linda is looking forward to voting Republican for the first time.

Seth concluded, “What keeps me going is the thought of meeting Jesus face-to-face and hearing him say ‘Well done good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with the same joke repeated, now I will put you in charge of some new jokes.'”

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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