Venezuelan government seizes Jim Carrey’s assets


After Jim Carrey’s empassioned speech “say yes to socialism” on HBO’s “Real Time With Bill Maher”, President Nicolás Maduro’s troops seized control of all Jim Carrey’s assets, worth an estimated $150million.

 Jim Carrey had long been uncomfortable about the capitalist way he had been able to purchase his $14million house in Malibu and is famous for his quote:

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

“The lure of a country where citizens struggle to get basics, such as toilet paper, proved too much,” said a spokesperson, “having tried everything the only avenue left for him was to try nothing.”

A statement issued by the Venezuelan government read, “We thank Mr Carrey for his generous offer of the redistribution of his goods to the Venezuelan people.  We look forward to other rich actors and senators embracing the joy of our superior form of government.”

 Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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