Catholic church adds rotas to list of sacraments

Church Life

In his Sunday address to Catholics around the world, the Pope announced an eighth holy sacrament: rotas.

Traditionally, the Holy Catholic Church has recognised seven sacraments instituted by Christ that provide a special measure of grace to Christians:

  1. Baptism
  2. Communion (or Eucharist)
  3. Confirmation
  4. Confession
  5. Anointing the sick
  6. Marriage
  7. Holy Orders

However,the Pope said that the rite of signing up to a rota had been overlooked in the Greek manuscripts that translated the original Aramaic.

“Jesus told the disciples to get and distribute food during the feeding of the 5,000 which is a clear sign of God’s grace to them when they agreed to do what they were instructed to do.  Since Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow we know that there is a special outpouring of grace given to Christians who sign up to rotas to serve their local church.”

Since the announcement rotas have become full to overflowing throughout the world.  Priests, who did not receive a special grace to continually nag people, when they took up their Holy Orders are relieved. 

The Vatican has denied rumours that this recent discovery of the Aramaic version was linked to problems filling rotas throughout churches.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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