Church Holds “Underground Church” Service in Multimillion Dollar Facility, totally gets it.

Church Life

Chicago, IL – Last Sunday at New Faith Community Church, the congregation attempted something radical. In a moment of solidarity, in an effort to stand with their persecuted brothers and sisters across the globe, they held an “Underground Church” service.

“It wasn’t your normal service, we didn’t have it in the sanctuary,” states Pastor Brian Thurber, “Instead, we held it in our newly constructed youth facility which is on the other side of our parking lot.”

Pastor Thurber was absolutely glowing as he discussed lives that were changed, how the congregation now “totally understands” what the underground church in North Korea, China, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and so many other countries experience every day.

“I mean, yeah, we still had worship like normal, and we still had chairs, lighting, and okay, we even had the fog machine going,” claims the pastor, “but people were like, really upset we didn’t provide coffee. I was all, ‘Do you guys think they get coffee at church in North Korea?’ and that really shook some of them.”

Pastor Thurber even went without his typical PowerPoint presentation for the sermon, titled, “Jesus Freakish,” which drew heavily from the book “Jesus Freaks” by DC Talk and Voice of the Martyrs.

“I looked each one of those four thousand people in the eyes and challenged them to just imagine what it would be like to suffer for Christ. No Starbucks, no electricity, no electric guitar, and the pastor may only have a small portion of Scripture to preach from! Heck, I haven’t preached from a Bible in 6 months, I mean, can you imagine?”

In an effort to really step up the game next year when they hold what is sure to become an annual event, the church is reportedly considering having congregational members sit on the floor so as to increase the realism for the participants.

“We may even have police officers standing outside ready to fake arrest people for participating. I mean, how cool would that be?” said one congregation member.

However, this reporter was advised that was considered too radical, and the idea has since been withdrawn.

Reporter: Crass Christian

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