Star Wars actors apologise for playing racist Darth Vader

Darth Vader actors have joined the stream of Hollywood celebrities apologising for their sexist/racist/whateverist acting roles.

Years ago, Scarlett Johansson received backlash for being a privileged able body actor playing the role of a paraplegic.

However, more recently voicing characters of a different race has come under fire, including Hank Azaria for playing the Indian Apu on Simpsons, to Kirsten Bell playing mixed race character Molly on Central Park.  All these white actors are apologising for their “pervasive privilege” of being able to voice people from different races.

TV shows, such as Scrubs, with episodes featuring actors wearing blackface have been pulled, even those where white actresses wore mud packs have been pulled too “just in case”.

However, Darth Vader actors have committed both these racist crimes.

Thus joint apologies were issues by the white actors (including David Prowse and Hayden Christensen) for playing a character wearing black face (well black helmet) and by the black actors (including James Earl Jones and Phil LaMarr) for voicing white men.

“I can’t believe how insensitive we were – we just naively assumed that getting someone tall to play the character and someone with a deep voice to read the lines was a good choice,” said one of the actors. 

“Our reasoning was flawed,” said another, “wearing a black Darth Vader costume just adds to the view that black is bad which perpetuates systematic racism.”

However, Black Lives Matter has approved of the white outfits worn by stormtroopers as this communicates the “evils of white colonial rule which enslaved other nations and planets.”

Disney has removed all the episodes while it digitally repaints Darth Vader to white and provides a new voice.  Rumours abound that they’ll formally declare that C3PO is gay to keep up with Sponge Bob’s recent announcement. 

However, there’s still criticism that many Star Wars actors were portraying alien stereotypes of other planetary species (thus engaging in an act of erasing extra-terrestial people’s experience) and even using slurs such as calling Jawas “dirty”.

We’re also expecting an imminent announcement from Rick Moranis about his racist character Dark Helmet in the Spaceballs film.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible