Churches offer Black Sunday deals on tithing, communion and baptism!

Churches have seized the growing popularity of the Black Friday deals and have created their very own Black Sunday deals to see if they can cause the same kind of stampedes for church services that shops experienced on Friday.

Pastor Bob Sauce was the first to offer this kind of deal a couple of years ago with his special baptism offer. “We offered a deluxe baptism for the same price as a normal baptism,” effused Pastor Sauce, “They got warm water, soft towels and a bible signed by all of the elders.”

Some churches tried to compete by offering two sips of communion wine for the price of one, whereas others offered 50% less greeting time to help get people through the door.

Worship leaders have also jumped on the bandwagon offering 400% more bridges with every song played and 25% extra holes in their skinny jeans.

But without doubt the best Black Sunday deal was offered by First Baptist Church Nampa, Idaoho: “The first 50 people in the church get 50% off their tithe.”  First time attender Jim Jones stated, “Usually I avoid churches because all they want is your money, but this deal was just too good to pass up!”

Sadly though, Grace Presbyterian church in Fayetteville couldn’t understand why their exclusive Black Sunday deals saw no change in attendees. Pastor Jane Doh said, “I don’t know what we’re doing wrong – our offers are incredibly generous with an extra 75% nursery duty and two sermons for the price of one…”

Has your church got an irresistable Black Sunday deal?  Let us know!

Reporter: Awsum Preacher