Coronavirus drastically improves church greeting time!

Church Life

Christians throughout the country breathed a collective sigh of relief as church greeting time is transformed as churches take precautions to prevent the spread of coronavirus.

Such precautions include no shaking hands, no hugs and definitely no holy kisses.  All of these are a game-changer for those nervous Christians who fear to run the gauntlet of church greeting time.

“It used to be so bad,” says James, a shy Christian, “I mean there were times when faced with a line of people by the doors that my anxiety would get so bad that I’d just turn around and head home.”

But now, people like James no longer have their personal space invaded by well-meaning extroverts thrusting hands at them. 

Yes, they can walk in through the doors unafraid and with a little cunning, they can even ensure that no-one sits on the same row as them:

“I realised that if I sneeze a lot without covering my mouth, people give me even more room,” says James, “No longer do I have to place a pile of coats and Bibles on the chair next to me to prevent people sitting close.”

It’s thought that the change in the church greeting time could also explain why there has been an up-tick in church attendance in the last few weeks.

Well there you are dear reader, when someone says “How can there be a good God with something like Coronavirus?” tell them about the freedom that James, and others like him, are experiencing.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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