Doctors Confirm Man had Kidney Stones, Not Demons

Louisville, Kentucky – On September 12th, this year, Frank Moon woke up with what he could only describe as serious “demonic oppression.”

His wife claimed healing, they prayed and prayed and tried to cast out the demons, but lucky for Frank his 14-year-old daughter also called 911 “just in case it isn’t demons.”

As it turns out, no, it was not demons, it was kidney stones.

“Frank’s been drinking Mountain Dew every day of his life since he was 3 years old,” stated his wife, “But we just figured since Halloween was approaching, you know, the time of year the devil gets most his strength, he had finally launched a full-scale attack on our home!”

Doctor Ted Grayson stated, “I can’t go into all the details, patient-doctor confidentiality and all that, but I can confirm it was not demons that were attacking Mr. Moon.”

Frank Moon believes otherwise. “The devil put rocks in my kidneys, sounds like. He knew I’m becoming a real prayer warrior. Of course, I’m glad my daughter called the EMTs, but we were already on the verge of casting out the devil from our house, so really there was no need, ya see.”

The devil was not available for comment.

Reporter: Crass Christian