Family Chooses Church Based Solely on Playground Size
The same obstacle was standing in the way of the Smith family as they began church shopping because their former church used the Bible way too much and they considered the expository preaching “boring” (their words).
As they started with a list of the top 100 fastest growing churches in their town, they narrowed it down to three: Lakeside, South Point, and Inclination Church.
After visiting each of these great megachurches a time or two, they decided to settle down at Inclination Church, at least for this month, not only for their amazing worship facilities and celebrity pastor Steve Furnace, but because of their amazing playground.
The Smith family couldn’t be happier with their decision which was based solely on one thing: the growth of their children. No, not the spiritual growth, but the church literally has a physical trainer at the facility 24/7!
Our correspondent asked the family in an interview, “So, how do you like the sermons?”
The family could not make a fair assessment of the services because the playground kept them busy raising their child in the nurture and admonition of Lars (the playground supervisor).
Whether you choose a church based on Bible version or musical style is so last year—if it isn’t all about the playground facilities, can you actually say you went to church?
Bonus feature includes Noah’s actual ark on which the kiddos can climb!
Reporter: Angry Nursery Worker
Where even the worst satire floats 
