Joel Osteen dons facemask: world plunged into darkness!

Church Life

Texas citizens are required to wear face masks in public to reduce the spread of COVID-19, however little did they realise the consequences of such a law.

When Joel Osteen donned a face mask today, he immediately plunged the world into darkness when his glowing white teeth became covered.

NASA had previously confirmed that Joel Osteen’s smile was visible from space and so naturally the loss of such brightness had a devastating effect on Texas and the rest of the world.

Fellow Texas resident, John Hagee, immediately took to the airwaves to declare that this was the darkness to which Christ referred to, rather than solar eclipses, and promptly released another book about Jesus returning in 2020.

Governor Greg Abbott is seeking to have shops open at night especially for Joel to minimise the effects of future coverings of Joel’s teeth.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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