Pastor warns: Pride month will be followed by a fall

As you may be aware, June is “Pride month”, which this year clashed with Riot month, but that hasn’t stopped one pastor from taking the time to denounce it vehemently.

The Senior Pastor of “Christ Welcomes All” church, Mr. Smith O. Obliviousness, has insisted that members of his congregation have nothing to do with Pride Month as decreed in his sermon, the church’s bulletin, and the church’s highly informative and life-changing church sign.

We caught up with the overweight Pastor at his church based, rather appropriately, in Chunky, Mississippi.

“The Bible is clear that having a prideful heart is wrong.  Solomon warned us that pride comes before a fall and he would know after his behaviour. So my church ain’t having nothing to do with this pride month.”

We were tempted to point out his double negative, but given the way he was waving a pistol for emphasis we decided against it.

“I mean, heck, we’ve just spent two months celebrating sloth with this lockdown baloney and if someone don’t take a stand then we’ll start celebrating other deadly sins.”

Sadly our interview was cut short so the pastor could run (well, more like waddle) to pile food on his plate from the churches potluck. We hoped to interview other members of his church, but social distancing meant that only the pastor was allowed at the potluck.

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Reporters: The Lonely Rogue and John Spencer