Avengers Endgame spoilers classed as hate speech
With the Avengers Endgame being the most anticipated Avengers sequel since the last movie they made, the Directors made a plea on Twitter for fans to not to give any spoilers for those sensitive Millennial fans who get offended and upset at everything, especially after playing the Millennial version of Pokemon Go.
With the first reported case of a man who was reportedly beaten up outside a Hong Kong cinema for loudly revealing the plot, action was clearly needed to prevent such further incidents.
California was the first woke state to step up to the mark by classing Avengers Endgame spoilers hate speech.
This overdue action meant that fans could return back to social media in their droves without worrying about having an emotional breakdown.
At least over this one small issue.
These fans were then able to walk into cinemas blissfully unprepared for the emotional torrent that will follow. Which ironically could have been prevented had they had a month to mentally prepare themselves for the death of two avengers, the retirement of a third, Captain Marvel’s drastic haircut and the Scooby Doo reveal of who was really behind this whole Thanos thing.
In addition, many cinemas are offering a room full of kittens and post-Endgame counselling for fans who are unable to cope with real life after watching the movie.
In other unrelated news Kleenex shares have gone through the roof.
Idea: Andrew Norman
Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible