Bible App adds tools to limit time users spent on app


This week Facebook and Instagram announced new tools to help users better manage their time online and to even set daily limits on their apps.

With the realisation of the negative effects that social media has on young people the director of research at Facebook, David Ginsberg, said: “Our hope is that these tools give people more control over the time they spend on our platforms.”

This is in response to the “Time Well Spent” movement which seeks to fight back against the intrusive effects of technology on our lives.

The Bible App has been the first app to follow the example set by these media giants by immediately announcing tools for its app to limit the Bible’s intrusive effects on people’s lives.

“It’s important in this day and age to ensure that we maintain a healthy balance between the Bible and real life,” said a spokesperson, “it’s all too easy to spend too much time reading God’s word and not enough time looking at cat memes or seeking validation from others.”

Liberals welcomed the decision, “Limiting the time spent reading the Bible will help people adopt a more inclusive and culturally sensitive outlook on life.”


Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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