Big Foot spotted on Mother’s Day!


Local residents of Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky (it’s a real town, honest!) reported seeing Big Foot walking down their streets!

The creature was about six feet tall with long, shaggy hair and a disgustingly shaggy beard. Bizarrely he wore human pyjamas bought at Walmart, all of which were on inside out and looked like they hadn’t been washed in weeks!

Reports came in that he smelled of sweat, beer, and beef jerky. He was muscular and heavy, with several long claws on each limb.

“I approached the creature cautiously as I didn’t know if he was friendly or not. All he could say was, ‘mom church’, ‘mom church’, ‘mom church’! He shifted the air around us with a yawn and put a pungent oral gas into my face then shambled in the direction of First Baptist Church on 2nd Street.” said pastor Otto Ramblin.

The creature then wandered into a convenience store but left abruptly, seeing as there were people inside and Big Foot is know for his excellent social distancing.

Despite the similarity to Big Foot, some onlookers claimed that this creature was nothing more thany a delirious man who has been on lockdown for far too long and only wanted to attend church for Mothers’ Day. 

Others, just thought he looked like a typical worship band bass player.

Sadly no-one stuck around long enough to be sure.

Reporter: The lonely rogue

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