CDC to release Corona Virus app soon!


The CDC is working on a new app called The Coronavirus Updater. With this new app you can get up-to-the-minute updates as to where the virus is in the world, an hour by hour body count, and the current odds of you contracting the virus.

Gamblers will appreciate the special one-click Roll the Dice and Beat the Odds of dying from the virus feature. Intended for entertainment purposes only, it should prove to be a big hit, at least among survivors of the disease.

One final feature in the works is the Stupid Things Donald Trump Says About the Coronavirus information page. This should be an especially popular for keep the populous informed, but will need frequent updates as this is sure to exceed its available storage limits.

Projected release date is hoped to be sometime before the world’s population ceases to exist.

Reporter: Dr Parson Peeves

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