Disney trumps Trump to buy Greenland


Disney recently purchased Greenland on ebay at the bargain price of $150bn. President Trump placed a bid on Tuesday but Disney fast-tracked the purchase by clicking the “buy now” button.

Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen of Denmark expressed his profound relief over the purchase, “There was no way we were going to sell Greenland to Trump – we’d much rather be exploited by a large entertainment corporation.”

A poll administered by unpaid Salty Cee interns in Brixton and Kansas City indicated that no one is surprised by this purchase, seeing as Disney owns just about everything else.

Disney CEO Rober Iger stated, “After purchasing Star Wars and Marvel Greenland was the next logical step for world domination. We hope to add the UK after Brexit by the end of the year.”

When asked about his plans for the nation, Iger added, “Trump joked about building another Trump tower in Greenland. We will not do that. Instead we plan to build another hotel called the Tramp Coliseum. Our other building projects include Euro Disney 2: The Sequel, Mickey’s Warehouse of definitely-not-exploiting-local-workers, Star Wars Land: Hoth, and Captain Jack’s maritime center of sailing and climate change is bad.”

Euro Disney 2: The sequel, is expected to have an admission price of 180 Euros with an optional breathing permit for sale at the reasonable price of 90 Euros.

After announcing that Halle Berry would star in the live action version of Little Mermaid, rumors are circulating that Greenland will form the location for the live action version of Frozen, seeing as they had run out of other movies to create live action versions of.

Disney declined to comment on whether President Trump would be allowed to visit Greenland.  But Trump issued a “statement” on Twitter claiming that they didn’t have any golf coursesworth visiting anyway.

Reporter: The lonely rogue

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