Easter bonnets to be replaced with Easter face masks


Paris Fashion Week took a Coronavirus theme to its spring collection this year.  The traditional Easter bonnets are now consider to be so pre-COVID-19.  Instead models were seen wearing the latest in Easter themed facial masks.

As a consequence, there has been a last minute craft material panic buying by women across the globe who now find their Easter bonnets they were planning to wear on Easter Sunday (together with their children grown male “comedians”) are unfashionable.  This has led to shortages at Hobbycraft and other retailers with social media full of pictures of empty shelves and videos of women competing in a “hunger games” to win the last bit of cloth.

Given that medical supply stores have long since sold out of masks, we at the Cee can reveal that you can make your Easter facial mask own out of any combination of cotton, silk, jeans or other clothing items already in your house! However, the Salty Cee cannot be held responsible for any repercussions should you decide to make your mask out of a brassiere cup.

To decorate your mask, simply paint it with any pastel color of your choice or sew on any spring or Easter themed décor. For example, you could sew a cloth sack and paint it to represent a young rabbit’s head, then sew it your mask and you’re set! Or you could paint an authentic representation of the empty tomb of Christ on the mask.

However, many women are struggling with sewing the designs to their masks without poking any holes in it which kind of ruins the whole point of having a face mask.  But given that fashion is rarely practical, this approach seems to be the correct one.

“As I preach a traditional Easter sermon through Zoom this year, I will be encouraged by the fact that a great number of my congregation will be wearing Easter face masks this year,” said lead pastor Skip N. Dooty, “feel free to text your mask pics to my youth pastor.”

In addition, to Christians, Easter worshippers have endorsed the masks:

“What better way to give glory to the Easter bunny than through such a tasteful face covering?  Clearly it’s superior to thinking that bunnies lay eggs…”

Reporter: The lonely rogue

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