Feminists vow to reject Coronavirus vaccine unless discovered by a woman


AURORA, CO- Leader of the United Aurora Feminists (UAF) announced today their commitment to feminism during this time of crisis. “We will only accept a vaccine created by a woman,” said Ana Hastings, “and preferably a black lesbian woman.  Any woman who takes a vaccine developed by men is suffering from internalized misogyny. Death is far better than supporting the patriarchy.”

Sporting their pink hats, members of UAF protested outside of the local university biology lab. “We’re here to shout at any men who enter the building searching for a vaccine. It should be women in there, especially woman of color,” said member Rachel Crofton. “If we yell and spit at the breeders enough, they’ll become allies and quit their jobs to make room for women in the field.”

A fellow UAF protestor chimed in, “We learned this technique in our gender studies class,” she said, faded blue hair blowing in the wind. “Intersectionality is what we need most right now, not men.”

“I’m so excited for a female researcher, excuse me, I mean hero to enter the building,” said the sole male member of UAF at the protest. “Down with the patriarchy! Right, ladies? Ladies?”

Reporter: Richie Richards

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