Grocery Store Bagger Forced to Pay Retroactive Bag Fees, But Why?


SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA—A local grocery store is cracking down on shrink and focusing on cost-savings by making 18-year-old Joey (we have withheld his last name for his protection) pay for every bag he ever wasted while double bagging groceries at the Standard Supermarket and Casino in a rural town struggling to hit their annual budget.

Joey, who has been named “Employee of the Week” once or twice has been an upstanding young man, or so the bosses thought. After watching security footage of the checkout lane, it was noted that Joey deliberately double bagged heavy items such as soda, glass jars of pickles, and bottles of liquor.

As the chief financial officer of Standard Supermarket began to add up the many instances of Joey’s careless spending, he estimated that the young man was responsible to pay back the $17.61 that it cost to reimburse the company for bag costs. Joey had been bagging since he was 15 years old and was loved in the community, especially by everyone’s grandmother Myrna Tellingheusen of Vaca Muerta Estates.

Although Joey was urged to sue the supermarket chain link (there’s only one location) by his uncle and longtime fan of watching Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown, he held his head up high and told reporters that he should be able to pay this fine with his next two paychecks. We at the Salty Cee hail him as a hero for making sure our groceries don’t tear through the bags. Manager Jim Jaimeson said, “Once the bags exit the store, they are no longer our problem.”

We assume he was drinking the contents stored in the closet of the casino. Joey has since been promoted to the stock room where only boxes are used.

Reporter: Angry Nursery Worker

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