Grumpy cat dies – no thanks to you


Grumpy cat, the internet sensation, died aged 7 earlier this week of a urinary tract infection.  Her owner Tabatha Bundesen from Morristown, Arizona made the announcement on Twitter today.

Grumpy cat, real name Tardar Sauce, shot to fame after Bryan, Tabitha’s brother, posted a photo of her on Reddit which went viral and spawned numerous memes.

Within the Christian community, the fundamentalists found solidarity in her stance on all things enjoyable.  “She was such an inspiration to our church,” said a teary Dr Hampton, “Her image on the screen could make a grown man confess his sins in a second.  Grumpy Cat increased our altar call conversions by more than 400%.”

However, some churches found that her image had the opposite effect and a most unholy laughter filled the pews.  This even led to law-suits claiming that they had been deliberately misled by her nickname Grumpy.  The matter was settled out of court and these sober-minded Christians have now banned all memes from churches to prevent a repeat occurrence.

Grumpy Cat herself was also frustrated at being mocked for her permanently grumpy expression which was caused by an underbite and feline dwarfism.  According to her family, her final words were, “I’ll make you cry yet.”

As people, particularly Calvinists, expressed their sorrow on social media, it appears that Grumpy has had the final laugh, in a manner of speaking.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible


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