Hairbrush Center of Local Civil Case

COUNTERTOP, USA – Formal charges were filed Monday in civil court over, of all things, a hairbrush.

Famed children’s programming actor Lawrence Q. Cumber is suing lifelong friend and business partner Robert DiTomate over the hairbrush alleging it was stolen and traded off to a local pawn shop, Peach’s Pawns.

Close sources say Cumber and DiTomate, once the best of friends, have not spoken to one another in months.

Cumber is seeking $5 in restitution plus court costs. DiTomate’s lawyer, Archibald Sparagus released the following statement:

“Mr. DiTomate is a highly respected member of the community, and does not take these accusations lighly. We are preparing a counter-suit for the slanderous accusations and emotional damage due to Mr. Cumber.”

A hearing is scheduled for August to determine if a settlement can be reached.

Reporter: Furious Christian