Major League Baseball Player Injured in BLM Anthem Mishap


An unidentified major league baseball player suffered a serious knee injury while kneeling in protest during the playing of the national anthem.

A member of the grounds crew indicated the player’s left knee buckled as he rose upon completion of the Star Spangled Banner. The player was carried to the locker room where he was taken to a local hospital. An MRI later revealed he had suffered a torn anterior cruciate ligament likely ending his season.

The player, identified only as a white infielder with a career batting average of .223, recently publicly apologized on a pre-game show for “exploiting and benefiting from my white privilege.” The former member of the Yale University varsity baseball team placed blame with his parents who “brought me up in an environment of pure whiteness.  I attended an all white high school and there were enough white kids there to start a junior Klan rally.”

A spokesperson for the player’s agent indicated the player is considering a lawsuit against MLB and his team. “He, as well as every player, was told it was acceptable to kneel as a sign of protest, exposing every player to the risk of serious injury.”

The MLB Office of People, Diversity, and Inclusion issued the following statement: “The safety of our players is of prime consideration for Major League Baseball. Commissioner Manfred originally suggested players raise their right arm in silent protest but the Players’ Association rejected the proposal fearing the gesture could expose pitchers to serious arm injuries such as torn rotator cuffs or torn ulnar collateral ligaments that require Tommy John surgery.”

An assistant to Mr. Manfred indicated special guidelines for proper kneeling will be issued and posted in all locker rooms.

In related news, the National League team which employs the injured player announced it will make an undisclosed donation to the newly formed Black Knees Matter movement.

Reporter: Sweetwater Flynn

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